I was sitting on a plane the other day, flying back from a speaking engagement in Orlando. The passenger seated next to me was the kind you always dread as a frequent flier. They want to talk.

I had a lot of work to do-letters to write, e-mail to respond to, and correspondence to read. Despite my obvious need to get some things done while in-flight, the passenger was determined to talk to me as long as he could.

"Where are you going?" he inquired.

"Home," was my response.

"Where's home?" he continued.

His line of questioning seemed endless. "Utah," was my answer.

"What do you do for a living?" he pressed.

"I am a motivational speaker," I replied.

"You sure don't look very motivated right now," he offered.

That got me thinking. Just what does "motivated" look like? Was I supposed to be energetic, bubbly, jumping up and down with the energy of a child? What do people expect to see when they see a "motivated" person?

Motivation is much more than what we are on the outside; rather it is what is happening inside that makes the difference. Consider for a moment my "unmotivated" state on that plane. I was tired. I would rather have been sleeping or aimlessly watching the in-flight movie. I could have been playing a game on my computer. Or, I could have even used socializing as an excuse to not get my work done. Instead, I knew that the more work I get done while I am on the road, the more time I have to spend with my children at home. If I can take advantage of the hours I spend on planes, I can focus more on my wife and home when I am off the road. There were a lot of things I would rather have been doing, but I wasn't. I was working. I think that is motivation!

We're motivated when we can put off the pleasures of the moment for something more valuable. We're motivated when we do what we should be doing rather than always what we want to be doing. We're motivated when we can focus on what's important in the face of pressing distractions.

How can you tell if you're motivated? Ask yourself some of these questions:

• Can I put off pleasure when more important work needs to be done?
• Do I focus on long-term goals or just short-term pleasure?
• Am I doing what I should do, or what I just want to do?
• Do I avoid the difficult things in pursuit of the "busy" things?

What does motivation look like? It is often the individual who quietly goes about his work, doing his duty, without the need for constant reassurance or praise. It is often the woman who does what she should be doing everyday when it would be so much easier to do what she wants to do instead. It is the teenager who studies late into the night when he could have been doing something more fun. It's the politician who lobbies for causes that will have real impact and meaning as opposed to those things that are politically expedient and popular.

Motivation isn't what you look like, it's what you quietly do.